infinity and beyond.

Yesterday I ended up going to school because I honestly just couldn't stand being at home and doing nothing any longer. I figured that my fever had been gone enough to keep me from infecting anyone else. I also really wanted to go to school because it was our last field hockey game of the season. Normally I play with the JV team but this week I got moved up to varsity, although I was kept from playing most of the week because of swine.

We didn't win, but I was still so proud because we played as hard as we possibly could. Then that proud feeling disappeared for all of us as it sunk in that it was the last night our team would spend together. After the game, our coach was giving us a speech about the game like she always does, but cut it short because she knew we were all trying to keep from crying. Once we got on the bus we stopped trying though, we just all held hands and let the tears fall. We're losing so much. For the past three months, field hockey has been my life. These girls are now my sisters. I realize that I can still see them now that the season is over, but it won't be the same, not spending hours with them every single day. And it can't just wait until next year either, because half the team is made of seniors who will be gone next year. I know next year's team will be great, too, but it won't fill all the gaps. This team isn't just a team, it's the greatest family I've ever been a part of (with Greek cheers and Camille's nerd voice and Jordan the angry bunny and Rupe's random hugs and smashing together in the back of the bus and Jess the greatest captain ever and singalongs and campfires and senior night and SASQUATCH! and Joy's ridiculous stories and everything and everyone). And now it's all gone.

Today I walked home from school for the first time in months, I'm so used to getting rides home from my girls and blasting the music. I hate that it can't last forever.